Statement on Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage
Marriage
1. Marriage is a gift from God.
The idea of marriage began with God in the Garden of Eden, before sin. The first human relationship was a marriage and history will end with a marriage between Jesus Christ and His glorious bride, the church.
Marriage is a covenant of companionship. It may be defined as follows:
God has created marriage to be a covenant for life between a man and a woman, entered into for companionship, sexual unity, procreation and to display the love Christ has for his church.
Marriage is a precious gift from God, though it should be noted that singleness is a gift as well. Married believers and unmarried believers have equal access to God, for both come through the mediatorial work of Jesus Christ.
2. Marriage is a covenant enacted through vows.
The heart of a wedding ceremony is the exchange of vows between bride and groom. These vows initiate a covenant, a solemn pledge before God and witnesses to lovingly live together for life. Unlike a modern contract, typically entered into for personal protection and convenience and for a limited period of time, the marriage covenant is entered into for the purpose of intimacy, mutuality and permanence.
3. Marriage is between a man and a woman for life.
Marriage, as intended by God, is between one man and one woman as long as they both shall live. We must reject any variations on this pattern including homosexual marriage, polygamy and serial monogamy (see below under ‘divorce’).
4. Marriage is for the purpose of companionship, sexual unity, procreation, and displaying the love between Christ and His church.
The relationship between husband and wife, this covenant of companionship, is at the heart of what God intends marriage to be. The friendship and fellowship which are part of this companionship are to be augmented and enhanced by sexual companionship as well. Though child-bearing is not the primary purpose of marriage, it is an essential one and married couples should normally heed God's command to be fruitful and multiply.
Divorce
5. God's intention is marriage, not divorce.
Divorce is a common and sad fact in our world, though this in no way marks our age off as unique. Many times throughout history God has addressed the topic of divorce making His perspective abundantly clear, that He loves marriage and generally opposes divorce. Nowhere is this more clear than in the many Old Testament passages where Israel is described as God's bride who has been endlessly unfaithful to Him, committing spiritual adultery through her frequent idolatries. God's patience, steadfast love, and grace are an inspiration to every spouse. At the same time, in the face of Israel’s endless sins, He sent her away with a writ of divorce (Jer. 3:8).
6. The OT, Jesus and Paul all provide for divorce under certain circumstances.
The practice of divorce is regulated and permitted under both old covenant and new. Any divorce is always the result of sin. However, while every marriage is composed of two sinners, it should be noted that guilt is not equally shared in every divorce. In fact, the situations in which God allows for a divorce typically are the result of one spouse sinning in a way that leaves them bearing the weight of guilt.
7. We believe God permits a believer to seek a divorce when:
a. A spouse is guilty of sexual immorality.
Sexual immorality includes adultery but also involves sexual contact with another person.
b. An unbelieving spouse abandons the marriage.
It is important to note that God permits divorce in these cases, but He does not require it. The church will not encourage a spouse to divorce when he or she has faith towards God for the marriage to be restored – even when the situations listed above exist.
For the church to condone divorce in such cases, the spouse must submit the fact of his or her marital situation to the pastors to determine before God in Scripture what He would permit. If a spouse who is a member of the church should seek a divorce from another member due to abandonment, he or she must first wait for the church to follow in its practice of church discipline to the end of treating the sinning spouse as an unbeliever before divorce may become an option.
Separated spouses awaiting a pending divorce should consider themselves married until the day a civil court declares the divorce final and legally recognized. They should thus conduct themselves in the church as a married person.
Remarriage
8. A believer whose spouse is deceased is free to remarry. (Rom 7:2-3)
Though he or she should first seek to know if God is calling him to ‘remain as he is’ and serve the Lord in an unmarried state.
9. A believer who is divorced for biblically acceptable reasons is free to remarry.
Any believer who is divorced under the above conditions, that is, their spouse has committed sexual immorality or has abandoned them, is free to remarry. They, too, should heed the counsel to first ask if God is calling them to serve Him in an unmarried state.
10. A believer who is divorced for biblically unacceptable reasons should seek forgiveness from God, the restoration of the marriage, and reconciliation with the ex-spouse. Remarriage is not an option until the ex-spouse remarries or dies.
Divorce for the wrong reasons is serious but forgivable sin. Divorce is not the unforgivable sin, it, too, can be washed away through the blood of Jesus Christ. Repentance will involve not only seeking forgiveness from God but also seeking to reconcile with the ex-spouse and, if possible to restore the marriage.
If a divorced person becomes a member of the church, he or she must understand that remarriage will only be condoned by the church when the circumstances prior to the divorce, or following the divorce, fall under the two conditions listed above. If the circumstances of the divorce do not conform to what Scripture deems acceptable, the divorced person should consider before God, and in the counsel of the church, whether to seek reconciliation with the former spouse.